Twenty - Eighteen ! ..... And Beyond !!!

I can't believe I've been gone a whole year ! 12 months !!! That's enough time to have gotten hitched, pregnant and now nursing a 2 month old - haha but before I leave you speculating, I'm just playing, no that's not what happened! Well atleast not yet! lol.  And I didn't even say bye, I knoooowww.... so rude, lol. I am so so so sorry! You see what happened was at the time, I didn't think I was taking a break, and before I knew it, I really was on a break from writing on here ... and then well, the months rolled into a year and then here we are! I guess when it's time to pause, it is time.

How have you been? Like really been...........
Me? How do I share all of that in a single post? I have a feeling I'll be pouring out more and more about my journey while I've been away! SOOOOO MUCH has happened!
For now I'll say this. I have gone through some sad, painful, scary, unpleasant experiences, and I've also had some amazing, beautiful, exciting pleasant ones that collectively have continued to be a part of my moulding process. I'm bolder, wiser, better, less afraid to do life and go after the life I was born for in all its fullness, I'm more alive. I am aware even more about my imperfections and weakness and I am more and more okay with them - I am human! But I am not making excuses for them no more. I've been through such an intense processing (but aren't we always in those!)... Also - I have groooooown! Yea, simply put, I have grown, that's exactly how I have been! The girl behind this blog is not the same one that was on here 12 months ago, she has evolved so much and in so many ways she never would have imagined and in many other ways the process continues. She has also been liberated!! Emancipated from so much mental slavery!! Aaaahh I can't wait to share more on that! You know what I've been saying lately? That the journey of life is simply a walk with God, a journey with Him, it is not an event, it is the everyday in every way, and for each one of us, it is such a unique experience.

So am I back back? I sure hope so, but I also cannot tell. I guess you and I will just have to wait and see and find out together how this is going to flow! Writing this piece was so impromptu! I kinda just found myself here, scribbling a little but of this and that thought. Also I have all these new ideas that include a new blogging angle, maybe this is the genesis of that - the fact that I have simply began again.. like they say, whatever it is you are setting out to do, you don't have to be great to start, but the only way to give being great at it a shot is if you start!

So now that I've taken all this time just touching base, do we still have time for a heart to heart? I see why not! Haha! I feel like what I am about to say might sound so cliché and like empty rhetoric, but it's all going to depend on how much you believe this for yourself and how willing you are to go forward with what you believe. Remember - I'm of the serious belief that just as much as words can tear us down, they just as well have the power to restore and build us from the inside out!

Look you and I have all been through some crazy stuff in this one lifetime of ours and are probably right in the thick of something crazy right now, and sometimes it even feels like you just can't seem to catch a break! But you know what? I'm done! I'm done waiting for my life to align to this perfect flawles dream in my head for me to be alive to it! I realize more and more that all I ever really have is 'now', and it is upto me to make my 'now' count! No matter what I go through, at the end of the day, I'm responsible for how I choose to react to what happens to me. So I can only 'blame' the circumstances so much. And I'm choosing to be present and take every moment of my life as it is and make it perfect! This whole journey, each up and each down, each and every low and high IS my life! Every millisecond of my existence is my story so I might as well wake up to all of it! Be present and be excited about it all. Today, now, this moment, this is my life! All of it! Not tomorrow, not when this or that finally happens. And I have decided that I will be glad and full of joy and hope and enthusiasm and passion about my entire being now, not then, not when. The challenge to self is to begin this year setting the minimum standard of how to be madly In Love with all of my life! To not miss the moments in my now because I got my entire gaze on tomorrow - stealing glimpses at tomorrow isn't a bad thing in right context, it is good to have things you are looking forward to and working towards and hoping for, the problem is when it's robbing me of my today!

And so, I want to fall so madly passionately deeply in love with all of my life. The Ugly, The Bad, The Good, The Great! All of it! It's all Me!!! I want to fall in love with my existence! I want to fall in love with my life! I want to fall in love with my life again! Like I'm a little girl again.

So let's do this! Because why not ? 2018 is already going down with its own super unique special experiences and I have decided to subscribe to each channel, I will not to miss a single show. I am coming alive to my entire existence. I know I have been before, but it's nothing like it is now, with new revelations and understand and convictions and life experiences that have made me understand this to such a new depth! But also - with a boldness to execute and go after what I need to. With a growing resilience to push past my setbacks and fears and feelings into the unknown! I am coming into such a better understanding that opportunities in life dance with those already on the dance floor! So I say forget sitting in the sidelines because you are saving to buy the right dancing shoes for the ball, let's get on floor now! barefoot! This is more than just about this year, or some other new year epiphany that comes and goes, this is about all of the rest of our life, our entire life !!! We can't afford to let our life pass us by! That a life lived walking out the purpose of our existence is our legacy!

Man, I know we've been beat down so hard over and over again and sometimes there just isn't much strength to keep going. But as long as we protect our heart, as long as we say no to whatever is trying to break our spirit and put off our fire, if we can outlast the fear, the pain, the depression, the doubt, the failures, the mistakes, our background, our current situation and circumstances, then we can do this! We can do this thing called life and not just survive it but thrive in it !! That we may not break and give up before we get to see and live out this amazing future ahead of us.

As long as our spirit is still alive it can rise! We can Rise!

In the end, we really only have two options before us everyday, every year, every situation:

1. To keep waiting for life to come together and our circumstances "to be perfect" and make no real and significant progress on our life journey

2. Learn to adjust and figure out how to keep moving despite the blurriness that is our life and be beautifully surprised at what possibilities were simply awaiting our actions. In my deepest lowest moments, I encourage myself with lines like "just get up Ree and walk by faith. Just keep putting one foot in-front of the other"

Before I go, currently jamming to this 5 track playlist on SoundCloud ! - Here is the Link to the songs....! Turn up the Volume!! Oh and the last song on there (Ty Bello's- The Future) is an old song but has been a favorite of mine for a few months now..The rest of the tracks are super new to me and I love them!! Hope you enjoy them too !

PS: It really feels so good to be back! I have truly missed you! I have missed this!! I am so excited about the new and unknown ride we are about to take together!

Until next time, lots of love.
Ree